Tell me, do you believe that joy comes after the hard work? That we must push through now so we can rest later? That someday, after the kids are grown, after we hit retirement age, after we’ve checked all the boxes, then we can live the life we really want? 

If you do, it’s time to challenge those beliefs.

Because someday isn’t promised. Your real life is now.

I’ve learned that the life I want is something I can build into the way I live today.

It starts with intention.
And it begins with asking a powerful question:

What if I didn’t need a vacation from my everyday life?

The Myth of “Later”

Our culture encourages us to delay joy, rest, travel, creativity—anything that feels truly nourishing—until we’ve earned it. But the truth is, many women spend decades in cycles of burnout, over-responsibility, and chronic depletion. We’re praised for endurance, not for alignment.

What if there’s another way?

What if you could design a lifestyle that feels spacious now, even if it’s imperfect? What if you stopped waiting for permission and began shaping your life around what matters most—today?

This isn’t about instant gratification. It’s about choosing to no longer live on autopilot. It’s about waking up to the power you have to create a rhythm, routine, and reality that actually feels like you.

You Have More Power Than You Think

When I was in my 20s, I began asking myself what I really valued. I didn’t want status or predictability. I wanted:

• Time with my spouse and to be home with my children
  

• Space to breathe and write and create
  

• Freedom to live close to the land
  

• The ability to follow my seasons, not someone else’s calendar or schedule
  

So I designed my life around what felt meaningful.

That meant choosing an unconventional career path. I became a freelance writer, trading “traditional job security” for greater financial risk and — freedom to control my time.

What That Life Looks Like (and Why I Chose It)

I work from home.
I homeschool my children.
I set boundaries around my work schedule and hold them—lovingly but firmly.
When I’m off, I’m unavailable.
I live in the wilderness with quiet, natural beauty.
I’ve traveled with my kids.
I’ve lived between continents.
I’ve made time to write novels and screenplays.
I make and remake my own schedule, reshaping it by what I choose as my “ideal” life.
I get to choose how much of my energy is available—and when.

It didn’t happen overnight. It took vision. Commitment. Saying no to some opportunities and other people's expectations of what my life should look like, in order to say yes to alignment. Learning to manage uncertainty and risk against freedom. 

It’s not a perfect life (no one’s is)—but it’s mine. Rooted in values, not pressure. And it allows me to feel like I’m living, not just surviving.

Yes, I know I’ve been incredibly blessed and not every woman has the same opportunities as I have had. But I also know this: we have more power over how we choose to spend our time each day than most of us want to admit. Why? Because we’ve been taught that our worth is based on pleasing people, and setting boundaries and doing life differently can feel really scary — especially if you haven’t been equipped and trained how to do so. (Blatant plug here: I teach women how to do this.)

What Do You Value?

So I’ll ask you this:

What do you truly value?

Not what you think you should value, or what others expect of you. But what lights you up. What brings you peace. What fills your soul.

And then—how can you begin to center your life around those things?

It might mean rethinking what’s possible.
It might mean letting go of guilt.
It might mean releasing a version of success that doesn’t fit anymore.

But this is your life. You’re allowed to choose differently.

Permission to Live Fully Now

You don’t have to wait until the house is paid off, or the kids are in college, or your boss gives you the green light. You get to choose what your life looks and feels like. You get to prioritize your joy, rest, connection, purpose, and pleasure now.

And no, it might not look like quitting your job and moving to a forest. (Though if that’s your dream, I’ll cheer you on!) It might be simpler. More subtle. More yours.

Maybe it’s:

• Creating a slow morning routine before emails start
  

• Blocking one night a week just for yourself
  

• Making space for a creative project that’s been nudging you
  

• Saying no to the thing that drains you, even if it makes others uncomfortable
  

These are lifestyle shifts. And they matter.

What Needs to Be Released?

Designing an intentional life also means asking:

What do I need to say no to?

No to overcommitment.
No to perfectionism.
No to always being “on.”
No to always being available.
No to rhythms that aren’t yours.

Every no becomes a sacred yes to something truer.

Your Life Is Happening Now

You don’t need to wait for a vacation to exhale.
You don’t need to retire before you feel spacious.
You don’t need to escape your life in order to love it.

Design something now that feels gentle.
Real. Rooted. True.

Design a life where your needs aren’t an afterthought.

You are the architect of your days. You get to choose how you live inside them.

And you don’t have to do it all at once.

Just start with one choice that feels like freedom.
One shift toward ease.
One yes to what really matters.

That’s how you build a lifestyle that doesn’t just look good from the outside—but feels good in your soul. One that you don’t need to take a vacation from because you’ve built in renewal, joy, fun, play, and rest in the life you have today.